Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
nutella sex= disaster
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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