I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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