Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
