STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
