sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
