3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
