the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
