Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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