You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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