I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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