i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
whose ass print is on the piano?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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