Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
