I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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