I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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