I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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