After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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