what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
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Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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