Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
