Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
