Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I will pee on everything he values.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
