Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
