yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
