I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
