Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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