I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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