Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
