I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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