I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
