I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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