Wow word travels fast.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?