dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest