The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before