Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Maybe he injected his testicle?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
