I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize