For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize