I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
