Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
