Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.