I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
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I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
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Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down