Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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