Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.

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(708): View more from Illinois

he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet

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(720): View more from Colorado

My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket

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(231): View more from Michigan

btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?

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(517): View more from Michigan

Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....

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(829): View more from Dominican Rep

I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis

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(209): View more from California

So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.

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