so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
