But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
