I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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