I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
