like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize