why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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