I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize