And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
