Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize