i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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