Banned from zoo.
Again?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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