So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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