hell yes lets make some ravioli
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
