10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
