she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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