I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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