Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This house was built for laser tag.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
