Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
