Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize