Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize