New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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