I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
